As I continue with my life and if anyone who knows me would know that I fear very little in this fucked up world but there are only 3 things that scare me to my core, Family dying, Friends dying and your call…
If you ever had to call me I think I would shiver in fear as it wouldn’t be a good call and if it was it would be all the more frighting.
I spend a lot of time rushing around to keep my head full of everything but you but yet there you fucking are, like you are there to create pain and the memory of the good times flood back, but the bad floods back as well, you continue to ignore me, continue to act like I never existed in your world, like I didn’t get to know your dark secrets or know you better than anyone else that has crossed your path, that’s why I don’t understand the silence, I know you, I know you wouldn’t want to tear someone up, you aren’t this cold, or was it all an act? did you play me? did you lie about being in love with me? did you lie about wanting to marry me?
I don’t seem to understand who this person is…. as it’s not my Poof, not my baby, the women I knew wasn’t scared to talk when it got hard, I know how badly I damaged you but I hope you see the damage you’ve done, you keep playing the victim and that I was the beast and you did nothing wrong, you still to this day haven’t admitted to the role you played.
It breaks my heart to know you are faking it, mask on, hiding behind whatever they want you to be.
At least with me you could be real.