Let’s start of who I believe I am, I recon I’m a pretty nice guy.
Some would argue this but I love intensely and am a flawed human being as we all are but I don’t hide it, I’m a recovering addict with some anger issues, a fear of commitment, a problem with authority and a distrust of the system, like most of my generation but I tend to stand out from them as I relate to an older generation, I’m not scared of hard work and I just get on with it with a very transparent attitude.
Sex and Falling In Love.
Now that’s out of the way we can start looking a little deeper shall we, I have a very healthy sex life and have had it this way since I was 13 years old. Yes, yes a little young but the female body has always interested me even at that age.
It is no secret that I enjoy sex and women of all walks of life if you had to ask my previous lovers they would tell you that I help them in some way, shape or form.
So yes random hookups and one night stands and sexual escapades that span over weeks, these are all great but falling in love now that’s the drug of choice.
I have only ever truly loved, with all my heart, I’m talking the real deal love, 4 times so far in my life and due to this being out there I shall change their names but will describe them in some detail.
Let’s start at the first, we will call her, Jessie, Jessie was my high school sweetheart with stunning big brown eyes that would swallow you in, freckles across her nose making her even more beautiful, I was her first in many ways, and we tried to spend every waking moment with each other but after a few hick-ups and a Ross and Rachelle type issue we end and it was devastating, my heart shattered for the very first time I knew what it felt like to be heartbroken.
Then we get to the longest relationship, let’s call her Becky, Becky was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen with such an amazing heart it was scary, she could look at the world in all its glory and wouldn’t see what a cesspool the world could be, beautiful blond hair and a smile that captivated even the most stubborn of men, this was one of my saving graces, my queen who could look past all my bullshit, pain, stubbornness and aggression and still call me “her love”. This again a little my fault and a little hers, I stopped caring and she went into protection mode. Again heartbroken.
So we get through them quite quickly but if I had to write everything I loved about them I could fill pages upon pages but this is a short blog that no one reads so we will be brief.
Now we move onto my short-lived but a lot of love relationship, We will call her Molly, Molly and I met on Facebook and there was a spark, this amazingly stunning woman who would awaken every pain I had buried and any love I had left in my soul, Molly had the ability to enrage me and make me mush all in one phone call, we would sit at night and talk for hours about the world, about her past and mine, about random fun topics, and the sex was amazing.
Now after Molly I met a twin flame tornado that we will call Cindy, Cindy was playing me and her boyfriend, got caught out and I still went back, Now I must explain, there was an electricity between us that couldn’t be explained, it was filled with love and chaos, Again made my distance with that quite quickly.
Now we are on to Kylie, someone I haven’t dated but wow does my world cave in when I see her, I went home for a little and went out with her for drinks and boom, we are back to where I started, now let me explain when you say hot and cold, I’m talking volcano and Antarctic, this woman turns my world upside down and inside out. We remain friends but the feelings are there, at least from my side.
Now what these stories have in common is that I tend to love heavily without looking at the bigger picture, letting my problems get in the way and buying into some people’s bullshit.
I still hold these women very close to my heart with my heart beating for them all and that sounds crazy but you can love more than one person at once, we are humans with souls that have traveled many hundreds of years and seen so much pain but have experienced love in many forms, don’t discount loving more than one person.
Now I can go on and on about all the fun that happened with all the women, in between these 4 but you get the picture, I remember every woman I’ve been with and where and when and they all hold a special place in my heart.